people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
