Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
