just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
