do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
