Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
