areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize