3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
