You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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