her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
