After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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