u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
