Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
