he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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