I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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