I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize