i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
