He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
