how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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