Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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