yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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