i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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