I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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