Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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