in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
