I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
