WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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