Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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