We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
