When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize