Can Purell be used as lube?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize