Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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