Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This baby is an asshole
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
