My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
