Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize