Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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