yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We need to rekindle our bromance
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
