ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
A+ Viking dick
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
