He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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