Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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