NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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