She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
