Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
