I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
