I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
