go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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