i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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