I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
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Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
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There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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