they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
