that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was born a porn star she said
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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