if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize