Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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