my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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