nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
