No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
