don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
