would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
