pedialite and red bull = repair kit
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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