I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
