If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize