I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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