I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
