3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
